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Google Forced To Pull Their Nerds Into Line After Protests

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The bosses at tech giant Google have been forced to sit all their nerds down today for a stern chat. This comes after thousands of Google staff across the world staged a series of walkouts in protest at claims of sexual harassment, gender inequality and systemic racism. The protests and walkouts follow allegations of sexual misconduct made against senior execs,...

Ireland Returns To How Things Used To Be When They Had Nothing To Brag About

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Ireland and its diaspora have this week been dealt a cruel blow. The small but well-known island off the coast of England has had to come to terms with reality again after their little prince Conor McGregor fell from grace rather unceremoniously. From County Kerry to Boston to Bondi, those with green and orange running through their...

JB HiFi Display Televisions Spoil Plot Twist In Relatively Recent Movie

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Despite being above average intelligence, local man William Robson (34) doesn’t mind the odd superhero film which is why he is annoyed that JB HiFi was playing Black Panther on display TVs even though it only came out about a year ago. Although he has a computer capable of purchasing items online, Robson entered his local JB...

Aussie Audiences Laugh At Family From Ozark’s Plans To Flee To Gold Coast To Escape Drug Trade

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Australian audiences finish bingeing the second season of American crime drama show, Ozark, viewers say they can't help but laugh at one glaringly obvious plot hole. That, is that Wendy Bryde (played by Laura Linney) talking about her dream of moving to Mullumbimby, which according to her, is on the Gold Coast. "Hahahahah" laughs one Australian viewer, Clare Manningly (37),...

Rupert Murdoch Says Kevin Rudd Is Being ‘Ungrateful’ Considering He Made Him PM

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has been slammed by the man who gave him the top job today after he criticised him for meddling in federal politics. Newspaper mogul Rupert Murdoch, a minor stakeholder in The Advocate's parent company, lashed out at the once-popular politician in response to the criticisms, saying Rudd is 'ungrateful'. "How fucking dare he," said Murdoch...

Malcolm Has Tantrum As Lucy Suggests They Go To Australian-Themed NYC Bar To Watch Roosters

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "It starts WHEN?" asked Malcolm loudly in his barrister's voice. "Half past five in the morning? Are you mad? And of all the places, why on Earth would you think I'd want to go there?" As this news organ is simply a front to promote Turnbullist policy and ideas, The Advocate enjoys a weekly phone call with the former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull...

Report: Shania Had Almost Unachievably High Standards In Hindsight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the School Of Social Sciences at the University Of Queensland has found that prominent late 1990s country pop singer, Shania Twain, had almost unattainably high standards for prospective lovers. This reports comes as the world prepares to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the iconic Canadian singer's single "That Don't Impress Me Much" from her...

Mark Knight: “I Actually Have Lots Of African-American Friends”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The cartoonist at the centre of worldwide condemnation has defended his work this morning by revealing he actually has lots of African-American friends - meaning it's impossible for him to be racist. Mark Knight's depiction of 23-time tennis Grand Slam champion Serena Williams in a Herald Sun cartoon earlier this week has been branded racist,...

“Burning Man Used To Be Way Better” Says Darwin Woman Who Went To Burning Man Two Years Ago

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Darwin-based social worker who's entire personality is based around the fact that she took heaps of acid in the Nevada desert in 2016, says no one else will ever be able to experience what she did. Burning Man is an annual, nine-day gathering in the desert that includes artistic performances, installations, and music. The nine-day...

Report: Ricky Gervais Least Healthy Looking Vegetarian

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Comedian and owner of the world’s most boisterous laugh, Ricky Gervais has recently been identified as the least healthy looking vegetarian anyone has ever seen in a sixteen-year independent study. Following his first comedy special in eight years, the highly revered writer and comedian shared with the audience how his love for animals means he...

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