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Labor Leader Anthony Albanese has today moved quickly to avoid any confrontation with local police today, after a close call during his commute home from the Burwood cinemas.

Mr Albanese, or Adlay Albo, as he is now called – has shocked the Labor party by freeing himself from the shackles of GetUp and adopting the ‘eshay culture’ most commonly associatied with housing commission kids in his electorate.

According to Urban Dictionary, ‘Adlay’ is Pig latin for “lad” –

It is an eshay nickname given to socially disadvantaged youths who associate with other socially disadvantaged youths and engage in criminal behaviour, most notably malicious damage, ram raids and trap running.

It is a lifestyle characterised by a unique style of clothing, namely Canterbury brand pants, polo shirt and a Nautica caps.

The Member For Grayndler acted swiftly today to avoid controversy after one of the eshays in his group chat sent through a warning about jacks at Lewisham station in Sydney’s inner-west.

Just months of an election, it isn’t lost on Albo that spending an afternoon in the lock up might not help his chances with the growing voter bloc of Range-Rover mums in his electorate.

“Fuck that noise” he said.

“Nah red hot red hot”

“I gotta get rid of this ish”

With only one station to go until an inevitable pat-down, the Leader Of The Opposition managed to flick his FILA bumbag onto the tracks just before the doors closed.

“It’s eetswah” he said.

“I’ve got my phone in my dacks”

Without identifying what might’ve been in his bummie, Adlay Albo says it’s not worth getting pinched with anything, especially given the heat surrounding his ambitions to become Prime Minister next year.

“Murdoch would have a field day if the jacks caught me with the thing”

MORE TO COME

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