LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an era of same-sex marriage and strides towards gender equality the good lord has sent a message to remind priests they still matter.
As the only news that could make COVID-19 the second biggest threat to public safety, former Catholic Cardinal George Pell has had his sexual assault allegations quashed by the high court.
For the long-suffering Catholic Clergymen, it is a needed reminder that they are so above the law they can see Saint Peter.
“Finally some good news,” stated Father Patrick Riley, a former roommate turned confident of Pells.
“This is just like the story of Gob except that Gob didn’t have a malicious media circus around him.”
With religious gatherings shut down, clergymen such as Riley are wondering if they have to keep following these rules as evidently basic rules of human decency still do not apply to those who preach them.
“Do you know what? I was just beginning to wonder if making gay people feel bad about themselves while defending same-sex paedophilia was a mistake.”
“I believed God has sent this virus as punishment. Now I know he sent it so that rules would not allow a mob greater than two people.”
“As sure as the Earth moves around the sun our brother Pell is innocent and I invite any would-be Galileos to repent for their sins now because no one fucks with the Catholic Church.”