WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news out of Canberra, the nation’s Head of Marketing has confirmed that he’s changed his tune on the policy that seemingly meant everything to him.
Not the Cronulla Sharks which he started going for when he moved to the Shire a few years ago after leaving Tourism Australia for reasons we aren’t allowed to talk about – but the budget.
Speaking to reporters this morning, Prime Minister Scott Morrison explained that despite bringing almost every single conversation he’s had over the last fifteen years back to a thing called the budget, he actually doesn’t really care about it that much.
“Look, some might argue that I have nailed my flag to the mask of fiscal conservatism and getting the budget bottom line in order no matter what confronts the nation, but it’s really not that big a deal,” explained the leader of nation whose budget is about to blown out like a young millennial on a bender.
“At this point in time, the budget isn’t something that anyone should be concerned about,” continued the leader of a party whose number one campaign issue is always the budget and sound economic management.
“We may have doubled budget debt since we took over in 2013, but that was because of the damage the Labor government did beforehand, and because we refuse to enforce rigorous taxation policies on giant multinational companies, allow resources companies to pillage our environment for next to nothing and allow upper and upper-middle-class individuals incentives to avoid paying what they should in tax.”
“Oh and dole bludgers are ripping the country off, I forgot about them.”
“Anyway, look yeah maybe we’ve carried on a bit about how important the budget is but don’t worry about that now. Our hands are pretty much tied on this whole thing anyway, so what do you do.”