12 August, 2015. 11:10

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

After nearly six hours of debate yesterday, the Coalition party room voted not to allow a conscience vote, instead binding MPs to support traditional marriage.

However, it appears Prime Minister Abbott is concerned he may have put a few lifelong friends off-side with the decision, and has spent the last twelve hours making amends with his gay associates.

Tony Abbott's incredibly gay sister, Christine Forster kisses her partner Virginia Edwards while handing out Liberal leaflets
Tony Abbott’s incredibly gay sister, Christine Forster kisses her partner Virginia Edwards while handing out Liberal leaflets

“I want all my gay friends and family to know, that this was not directed at them,” Mr Abbott said on Studio 10 this morning.

I am not denying gay people the right to be in gay relationships… I am just denying them the right to live in a country that acknowledges the legitimacy of gay relationships,”

Mark Pearson, a close friends of the Abbott family and a proud homosexual man, says he understands that Mr Abbott didn’t mean to offend when peer-pressured an entire political party to pretend he and is partner of 35-years are no more than “housemates”.

“I know what Tony’s like… He sometimes struggles to say what he means,” says Mr Pearson.

“I think what he was trying to say is that the whole idea of marriage isn’t meant to include me and my partner. Despite the fact that we own a house together, are in the process of adopting a child together, and have been planning our wedding since we made a civil promise to spend the rest of our lives together,”

“It’s just so Tony, he really is trying his best”

Tony Abbott did not mean to offend the entire gay population of Australia with this facebook photo, either.
Tony Abbott did not mean to offend the entire gay population of Australia with this facebook photo, either.

Despite a heroes homecoming in the suburban metropolis of upper-north-shore Sydney this morning, it is understood that Prime Minister Abbott is very aware that his close friends and family might have a problem with last night’s decision.

“My sister is going to kill me!” laughed Abbott.

“[Laughter] We always used to joke about how she was going to end up as an unmarried spinster. I guess I’m not helping things! [Laughter]”

1 COMMENT

  1. God bless you Tony. If it wasn’t for your strong stance on these kinds of abominations who knows what legalizing same sex marriage could lead to; marriage between humans and animals, inter-racial marriage, marriage for queue jumpers; I hate to think what could happen to Australian society if the sanctity of traditional marriage were tarnished by these socialist-thinking gays!

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