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Australia is starting to think it must be a bit warm in Brisbane, as activists continue to relentless protest inaction on climate change in the CBD streets.
This comes nearly a full month after millions of people, led by Swedish youth activist Greta Thunberg and students from Sydney to Delhi and Melbourne to London and New York, are today marching for urgent action on climate change, which appears to be something that the kids are fairly concerned about considering they’ll be the ones who have to live through the envrionmental catastrophes currently being caused by our sycophantic silver-haired elected officials and the other heavyweights of the western political classes, like mining lobbyists and the Murdoch family.
While the Southern cities return to their normal apathetic selves, Brisbane has kept up the fight, with a consistent stream of blockades and stunts aimed at inconveniencing the top-end of town.
While Queenslanders put the protests down to a throw-back of the Sir Joh days where every single uni student and minority group had to protest against the National Party dictatorship in the streets – even at the risk of being bashed by special branch cops – the rest of the Australia is under the impression that it must be because Brisbane is a bit hotter than elsewhere in the country at this time of the year.
“Jeez” said one Sydneysider, James Botany (66, plumber, La Perouse)
“Must be warm up there”
“I guess they’d be feeling it the most you know with the whole reef bleaching and erratic bushfires and floods”
The protests have also come as a shock to the outspoken southern lefties who gave up protesting the day after the climate strikes but still blame Queensland for the coalition’s recent election landslide despite the long-list suburban Melbourne and Sydney electorates uncharacteristically swinging in Morrison’s favour.
“These Brisbane protesters must have driven up from Melbourne” says half-hearted Melbourne environmentalist, Banjo Clementè (39, microbrewer).
However, inconveniently, the government and QLD police are unable to make this claim themselves – as most of the arrested protestors appear to have registered Brisbane addresses.
These revelations mean it has become much harder to blame echo chamber Southern leftists, and instead politicians like Senator Canavan have moved towards ‘outlawing protesting’ – a universally-recognised last resort for lawmakers that might even be a bit more fascist than Joh ever was.
in an even more terrifying model, Peter Dutton has suggested scrapping social security payments for all protestors identified at rallies until they ‘change their behaviour’.
This suggestion was also deemed unlikely to work as the same protestors that have been arrested were found to be gainfully employed.