CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the nation’s baby boomers continue to be ridiculed online for their lack of emotional intelligence and inability to process grave warnings from climate scientists, one older roadside mechanic has today returned served.
Bruce McAfferty (68) was considering retirement earlier this year, but after seeing just how incapable the younger generation is at dealing with day-to-day life, he’s realised he’s not actually that useless.
Working in roadside assistance, Bruce spends most of his time hooking sedans up to his toe truck and then having to listen to the concerned vehicle owners whinge all the way back to the mechanic in his passenger seat.
However, in recent times, he’s noticed a disturbing trend amongst P-platers, many of which are a little too old to be p-platers.
Since this time last year, Bruce has had to respond to 143 call-outs for mid-to-late twenties men with flat tyres.
“I guess they are just using the comprehensive car insurance they paid for” he says.
“What do I give a fuck. I’m getting paid”
“But it is pretty concerning that if I wasn’t nearby these blokes would just sit here parked with their cars running so they didn’t run out of phone battery”
Bruce goes on to emphasis that these customers are almost always men. He puts that down to male privilege.
“Women learn how to change tyres from a young age, from what I’ve seen” says Bruce.
“No young girl wants to risk being stranded on the roadside in this country. So they get out there and learn how to change a tyre as soon as they get their licence.. It’s the young blokes that never really feel the need to learn”
During today’s call-out, Bruce is met with a pink-haired freelance graphic designer by the name of James, but he prefers Yiannis, even though he’s not Greek.
Upon learning that a loose nail lodged in the treading of Yiannis’ front passenger side tyre was the only reason the young bloke was no longer able to continue his time-flexible journey to point B, Bruce asks why he didn’t just change the tyre himself.
Yiannis points out that he’s just in such a rush to finish this email and he’s not exactly wearing the right clothes, I thought that would be pretty obvious haha, it’s not like I’m wearing hi-vis I’m wearing three layers and off to meet a new client, and I don’t think these jeans I’m wearing would sustain me spending that amount of time crouched over, and it’s kind of like, hey I pay for a service so like, shouldn’t I like expect to at least be able to make use of it.
Unable to control himself, Bruce fans the flames of intergenerational divide and hits Yiannis with an “Ok Gen-Y” – before being cancelled for his micro-aggression.