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In a world where young urban professionals are constantly redefining traditional institutions like marriage and parenthood, it is hard to know what a serious relationship looks like.

In Betoota’s corporate-bohemian French Quarter, the only people that are getting married are the gays who spent years fighting for that right. The urban hipsters and corporates appear to be choosing different forms of ceremony to define their personal relationships.

These alternative lifestyle choices have plagued staff at Betoota’s Births, Deaths and Marriages Office.

Berryl (69) from the front desk says she thought de-facto pretty much covered anything that wasn’t marriage, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

“Some of these youngsters are buying homes together and demanding the state only recognise them as ‘fuck buddies’ – it’s really quite confusing for an old girl like me”

Luckily for Beryl and the rest of the pre-internet adults working in civil registration and human resources, a new government study has been commissioned into how to actually define millennials who have fallen in love and may or may not want to live together and share a bank account.

Young Urban Professional Parlance, Insight and Experiences (YUPPIE) is QLD government department created to help create open dialogue with the public service and people born post Cool Runnings, in an effort to define what is “serious”.

After surveying 40,000 young urbans, the results show that majority of hipster couples view a weekend trip to Hobart to see the Museum of Old and New Art as the modern day equivalent of a marriage proposal.

“That’s when we know it’s exclusive. A weekend in Hobart.” said one YUPPIE researcher.

“And their equivalent of full blown marriage is moving to Byron together”

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