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As reports flow in of RFS volunteers being forced to take leave from work and pay out of their own pockets for supplies on the job, different avenues are being explored to get the undivided attention of Scotty From Marketing for at least half an hour or so.
While battling fires on the edge of the Simpson Desert, the Betoota RFS have today opted to mix up the PPE by wearing Prime Minister’s XI kit.
This move is being widely viewed as a last-ditch attempt to secure the necessary funding from our nation’s elected but MIA leader, Prime Minister Scotty.
The sweeping measure corresponds with both the return of Scott Morrison from his family holiday and the southerly winds that bought some welcome relief to firefighters that have been on the ground in rural NSW, who have been fighting and dying to protect the homes and lives of Australians during the Morrison family’s tropical getaway.
This comes as the government faced with calls to consider further professionalising its firefighting force as the unprecedented bushfire crisis gripping the state stretches volunteers to their limit.
A day after blazes some Rural Fire Service members described as “unfightable” claimed the lives of two volunteers south of Sydney, attention has again turned to the resourcing of the firefighting effort amid concerns about the scale of the emergency.
With catastrophic fire danger warnings again in place across swathes of NSW over the weekend, the federal opposition leader, Anthony Albanese, called for volunteer firefighters to be compensated through tax breaks, one-off payments or special leave entitlements saying the fires in NSW were “not businesses as usual”.
However, local Betoota firie, Paul ‘Blocker’ Brohman says by wearing the same kit as the annual Prime Minister’s cricket team, they might even be able to get Scotty From Marketing on the ground running water for them.
“Just gotta look like we are playing a sport” says Blocker.
“This is all sport for Scotty.”
“But he’s more interested in the ashes that can in the shape of a cricket trophy – not the ashes that come from the destroyed livelihoods of rural Australians”
“So we figured if we dress up like cricketers, we might be able to get him out here barefoot running water for us like he did for the footy players and the boys in the XI.”
“Hope he did some practice on those hot coal walks in Hawaii, though. Don’t want him to have anymore reason to sit on his arse”