EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
An apprentice has today committed a serious social faux pas by rocking up to the worksite with the wrong kind of terrier, it’s reported.
Jared Krisher  had been urged by his mum to take the family King Charles Cavalier, Molly, out with him, after she’d grown tired of the pup’s incessant yapping.
Jared reckons that aside from taking the odd smoko break to delicately clean up the gluggy eye goo permanently emanating from Molly’s tear ducts, he’d expected his day to go by relatively smoothly.
But Jared reports that when he was spotted carefully placing the pup out on his ute and onto a shady part of asphalt, he’d immediately copped a walloping from his workmates.
It’s understood that the transgression was just one of many cockups Jared had made in his first month on the site but that it was undoubtedly ‘the nail in the coffin.’
Speaking to our reporter over a fruit tingle jug, an exasperated Jared explains that he’s had a little bit of trouble fitting in with the boys.
“Copped shit for a week for rocking up in a Triton ute, and now this”, says Jared, running his fingers through his perfectly coiffed ‘do.
“Made fucking meowing sounds at me all day. One of them even threw a bottle of Breaka at my head and asked me if I was a little pussy that needed some hot milk?”
“The fuck does that mean?”
Jared adds that they’d laughed and muttered something about there being a ‘rat on the worksite’, before attending to their own dogs – a sea of staffies and pit bulls all named either Diesel or Max.
“I figure the only way I can save face is to pull a ‘She’s the man”, says Jared.
At our reporter’s confused look, Jared explains that he might have to rope in a couple of ‘hot birds’ to drop into the worksite one day if he wants to salvage his reputation.
“Yeah, might get my cousin to pop by.”
“Pretty sure she was in Zoo Weekly in a few years back.”
More to come.