LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Sorry advertising, but someone already got Dad exactly what he wanted this Father’s Day.
Betoota Grove Arts student Bartholomew Crandle (21) has gone all out for Father’s Day this year by pretending he is doing Commerce subjects in front of his dad Chris Crandle (50).
During upper-middle-class BBQs with his extended family, young Bartholomew is usually interrogated by family members about his veganism, beret and status as a single man.
Occasionally, a few family members have even dared to ask about his Arts Degree with the vague hope that he is at least doing some social rugby or porking a CEO’s daughter.
However, this Father’s Day Bartholomew is the star of the family BBQ as he lies and tells everyone that he is doing Commerce subjects and understanding every bit of it.
“Yeah, learning about P&L, PESTLE evaluations, that sort of thing,” stated young Crandle as he pictured himself as the subject of a subversive piece of performance art, satirising the capitalist bravado.
At the news his son Bartholomew is studying something that may allow him increased access to the nepotism he has planned for him, father Chris Crandle even shared a display of public affection with his son; a firm but brief pat on the back.
“I named him Barty for his pop thinking he’d go by that but he always insisted on Bartholomew,” stated father of three Chris Crandle.
“What I’m trying to say is, it’s nice seeing him act like a real person.”