LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Office Kris Kringles have the charming ability to force kinship amongst your colleagues with the all-to-familiar sense of having promised yourself 12 months ago you wouldn’t be here for this event.

The anatomically-incorrectly titled Head of People Susan Stone (41) has once again brought the staff of Flash Financial together with a lighthearted Kris Kringle for which participation is compulsory. 

Sitting in a circle around the piss-poor excuse for an office Christmas tree, Stone began handing out the secret Santa gifts people would be forced to say they like in case theirs was from the boss.

A silver lining may have emerged however as executive assistant Chloe Dale (25) received a Jamie Oliver cookbook as her gift.

“Oh wow,” stated Dale, relieved her gift was not Christmas themed crockery or a bag of shit from Typo.

“Thanks to whoever got me this, really useful.”

Initially overjoyed with her gift, Dale ended up flicking through the book by notable British chef, only to discover many of the pages were discoloured by food stains, indicating this was a regifting.

“Ah, it’s not a big deal. Ian from sales just got given a motivational quote calendar. All things considered, a second-hand cookbook by that lispy twat is as good as it gets at these things.”

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