EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
An inner-city gathering has today gone from classy shindig to major pissup after the arrival of local gronk, Jared Rook.
Announcing his presence by bursting through the door and screaming ‘YEEEEWWW’, a red-eyed Jared [34] was desperately trying to cling to his high before succumbing to what will be a truly shocking comedown.
His enthusiasm, most likely brought on by a cheeky bump, is a bit too much for three in the afternoon.
“Is that Coles radio?”
“What a TUUUUUUUUNNNNE.”
“What’s everyone doing tonight? Laruche?”
When his energy fails to get a rise out of anyone, Jared begins to pull out an assortment of shit tier illegal goods from his bumbag.
“Who wants some jungle juice?”
“I brought Soju. It’s like 20% alcohol haha.”
“We should make picklebacks.”
“…shiiiiiit I feel a bit dusty ha.”
Jared disappears to the bathroom where he violently hacks and spits for a good three minutes. He later reappears looking refreshed, having dispelled 48 hours of various liquids from his abused gut.
“I just speeeeewed.”
“Oh god, I feel so much better haha. I’ll be good now.”
“Tactical vom to carry on.”
More to come.
