TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Sitting in her recently renovated two-bedroom cell, Tiffany Watson looked around and wondered what the hell she was going to do for lockdown entertainment for another few months.
After finishing Instagram for the third time today, Tiffany began having some concerning thoughts.
“I wanted to have a baby”
“What is wrong with me?”
“I’ve never wanted a baby, and now, because I’m bored shitless with nothing else to do, I thought bugger it, we might as well have one”
“I totally understand why all of my country friends have kids”
“It’s just them and their hubbys out there, what else is there to do but have kids?”
Tiffany actually let her mind run away with the idea for a while until she verbalised it with her boyfriend, who was quick to remind her that it was a ridiculous idea.
“By the time the baby is due we’ll be out of isolation, then when everyone is ready to go out we won’t be able to because you’ll be pregnant”
“We’ll be extending our isolation for 5 years”
“This is literally the worst idea you’ve ever had”
After being brought back down to reality by her boyfriend, Tiffany quickly ran to the bathroom and fished out all the contraceptive pills that she threw in the bin in anticipation of their baby-making attempt.