CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local stonemason, Billy Wright (29) does not appear to have the slightest understanding of what is currently happening in the Australian medical fraternity.
Arriving today as a subcontractor on the new student accommodation project currently being built on the Betoota WQU campus, Billy has been seen chewing his fingernails and coughing openly like some sort of pre-2020 neanderthal.
His brazen flouting of state government-directed social distancing measures has resulted in aggressive gossiping from the other workers, with many describing him as a ‘grub’ and keeping a wide berth from him at smoko.
Arriving on site today to begin work on the foyer of the new high-rise development, Billy extends his big, filthy, unsterilised palm and offers an old-fashioned handshake to the first couple blokes he runs into.
With Craig, the electrician opening to skirt around the handshake with Karmichael Hunt side-step.
Unfortunately, his young apprentice Keiran was not so lucky.
Keiran, lacking the social capital and interpersonal skills to simply brush off Billy’s highly-inappropriate offer to shake hands – is left with no other option but to go through with it, and experience the kind of human contact he has not felt since he pashed a backpacker during the fireworks on New Years Eve.
Like coronavirus itself, the stigma surrounding the unwashed sub-contractor quickly spreads to Keiran, who is then ostracised by the rest of his workmates until he has washed off Billy’s bacteria by scouring his hands raw with some Orange Power in the portaloo.
At time of press, Billy was telling the plasterer how he can’t understand why there was such little traffic on the way to work today, still completely unaware that human civilisation is currently caught in the middle of a global COVID-19 pandemic.