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The Betoota Advocate

Protestors Slam Police Over Use Of Non-Ethically-Sourced Tear Gas

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    FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

    Anti 5-G protestors have turned on Police again today after allegations the primary supplier of Tear Gas may not be ethically sourcing the ingredients of the non-lethal weapon.

    “We just don’t have the information we need to make an informed decision about the type of tear gas we are ingesting” said protester Anna Smailles.

    “Is it capsicum spray? Where were the capsicums grown? Were the farmers paid a fair wage? Is it made from organically grown capsicum? I’m not comfortable getting sprayed with something made from non-organic capsicums. All those chemicals! Urgh!”

    Fellow protester Walther Brisket agrees.

    “The supermarket has to tell you what’s in the food, but tear gas goes inside you too. What if I’m allergic to tear gas? I didn’t sign a consent form.”

    Walther recalls an earlier incident where he was exposed to tear gas at a rally.

    “It was a peaceful protest. I was dancing on the roof of a patrol car, not hurting anybody, and suddenly I copped a face full of tear gas for no reason. It was really upsetting. Someone tried to pour milk on my face but I made them stop because my eyes were all teared up so I couldn’t tell if it was soy milk or not”.

    “We need to fight for more inclusive protests,” says Anna.

    “I’ve literally had people say they can’t come because they don’t know enough about the tear gas ingredients. What we need is more information. Is it ethically sourced? Is it carbon-neutral? Is it vegan? Is it kosher? Is it halal? Is it sustainable? Is it Rainforest Alliance certified? Does it get the National Heart Foundation Tick? Is it made using fossil fuels? Do the canisters get recycled? There’s so much we don’t know. Which is why I am starting this petition and organising a peaceful rally outside the Police Station next weekend”.

    When questioned about the ingredients and point of origin information for protest response chemicals such as tear gas, smoke grenades and the water used for water cannons, Chief Inspector Robert Hovis did not offer a comment.

    He did however, throw an inkjet printer through an office partition, at which point the interview was hastily concluded.

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