FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
A local Real Estate agent’s enthusiastic endorsement of the suburb surrounding a newly-available rental house has been called into question after the area was revealed to have a higher than average number of shopping trolleys in the local creek.
Betoota Banks, a suburb on the outskirts of the pebblecrete belt, has a population of almost 800 but the number of trolleys in the creek is one of the highest in the region, at approximately 3.5 per capita.
But Real Estate Agent Francis Gribble says the Trolleys In The Creek Per Capita (TCPC) was only one metric which can be used to gauge the desirability of a suburb.
“Look, it’s a great suburb mate, lots of fair-dinkum people round here” he said, leaning on the letterbox.
“Don’t worry about the TCPC, there’s heaps of good stuff here; there’s a school, heaps of bus stops. And the BOCK (number of burnt-out cars per km) is way down from last year since they installed those cameras. Plus there’s a couple of shops; a Cash Converters AND a place that buys gold; this suburb has it all!”
But potential renter Justin Riley said his Google research had uncovered a number of concerning figures which suggested the suburb might not be as suitable for his young family as the Real Estate Agent was suggesting.
“I dunno mate, did a quick search last night and the PBH (pit bulls per hectare) was over 20, seems kinda high. Plus a UDBN (unregistered dirt bikes per night) of 8+ might make it hard to get to sleep. It’s ok, but I might keep looking I reckon.”
“Shit, thought I had that one” said Gribble, waving goodbye with an excessively toothy smile. “He didn’t even mention the OGPSJWWDSMOB (odds of getting your phone stolen by a junkie whilst walking down the street minding your own business), which is down by over 5% in the last quarter. Hey, are you in the market for a rental property? We don’t do any background checks.”
Unfortunately our reporter was unable to respond as he was pre-occupied by having his phone stolen by a junkie whilst minding his own business.