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There were scenes of jubilance at The Pineapple Hotel in Kangaroo Point earlier this afternoon, as the three men in Queensland who follow every match of AFL – even when the Lions aren’t playing well – learnt the news that AFL grand final will be played at the Gabba in Brisbane on October 24, marking the first time the trophy decider has been played outside Melbourne.

“You hear that, Len?” asks 88-year-old Victorian ex-pat, Frank Wren.

“Annastacia’s gone and done it”

“HEY?!?” yells Len (92), throwing his good ear towards Franky.

“THEY SAID THE AFL GRAND FINAL IS COMING TO BRISSY” yells Frank.

The third bar fly, John Hardy (97) interjects.

“Well good on her”

In a press conference earlier today, AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan also announced that the game would be played at night for the first time ever, with an exact starting time yet to be determined.

“The impacts of this pandemic … have meant we’ve had to take the game away from its home, the MCG, for one year,” he said.

McLachlan said the game would be played in front of 30,000 people, COVID-pending.

The announcement has resulted in MCC members right around Victoria are reportedly pooling together money to have Dan Andrews ‘dealt with by a professional’ – as the Melbourne elite learn that their beloved AFL Grand Final will be played in front of a generally apathetic crowd of mostly school kids from the bush who have been given free tickets.

However, even if the historic announcement is received like a ripple in the ocean throughout most of the Sunshine State, the front bar of the Pineapple Hotel is absolutely stoked with the news.

“I’ve got a nephew who works as a groundsmen down there at The Gabba” she Len.

“Maybe he can get us some free tickets. I imagine there will be a few going”

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