If losing David Fifita, Reece Walsh and the prodigal son Sam Walker wasn’t enough – The Brisbane Broncos can today announce that Tom Dearden has also signed on for the Cowboys next season.

It heralds yet another body blow for the embattled one-team-city, as an entire generation of Broncos fans begin to learn that winning a couple rugby league premierships every decade is not a human right.

However as the Broncos descend to Parramatta-levels of membership morale, with talk of the NRL introducing yet another expansion club which will halve their catchment in Ipswich, their coach Kevin Walters claims to have a plan.

As the Courier Mail – also known as The Broncos Newsletter – reported over the weekend, Kevy is believed to planning a major overhaul to Brisbane’s roster.

And he’s not going to be looking at the grassroots of Logan and Redcliffe for new talent. He’s going back in time, and hopping codes.

According to Red Hill insiders, who are actually just drunken pokie addicts at the Leagues Club who corner Kevy in the car park every morning, Kevy is now looking at recruiting a whole squade of early-to-late-30s former rugby union players to stack the Broncos side.

It has since been confirmed that the embattled coach is looking to recruit the entire 2011 Queensland Reds side to bring back that ‘Packed Suncorp’ energy they used to wield back when they toppled the powerhouse Canterbury Crusaders for the Super Rugby Premiership ten years ago.

The Betoota Advocate reached out to Kevy today via Wickr to clarify the rumours.

“Yeah. I thought fuck it. We clear the stable and pony up for that whole team” said Kevy.

“Most of those boys are still in Japan or France. Some we’ll have to pull out of retirement, but they’ve gotta be better than what we’ve been working with now”

When asked if some of the backflippin’ and caterpillarin’ Queensland Super Rugby Champions were getting a bit long in the tooth, Kevy seemed confident that their kind of generational talent would still hold up even in their middle age.

“Sure some of those boys are getting on a bit. Radike would have be closer to 50 than 40… And the youthful energy of Digby and Beau Robinson has been replaced by some raw-boned dad strength…”

“But I reckon with a rugby league refresher course and some gatorade we could at least make the final 8.

The Betoota Advocate reached out to Quade Cooper for comment but all we received in response was four consecutive text messages that read the following.




“Once again Brisbane has summoned their prince”



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