ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has warned Victorians about apply for travel permits to the nation’s diseased West today as 25 cases of the spicy pangolin sneeze are still active in the state.

The news comes as Queensland welcomes the hobbit folk of the deep south back to their bountiful bossum of sunshine from the first of next month.

Victoria joins Tasmania as being the only places in Australia that have effectively crushed the virus, yet somehow they still suffer the indignity of being treated like naked man in a David Jones foodhall.

Which has forced Dan Andrews’ hand, he says, in warning his people not to travel to Western Australia because it’s not safe.

“Going to Perth is about as safe as trying to mark Hayden Ballentine,” said Andrews.

“One minute, you’re walking around off the ball with him. The next, he’s had another brain fade and punched you in the back of the head and now you’re sucking in the big ones while your team mates run over to try kill him,”

“So it’s not exactly safe but if you have to go over to the West, wear a mask and don’t touch anything.”

More to come.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here