WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
In one, and potentially final, insult to the LGBTQI community, the Liberal-National Coalition government has called the election for the same weekend as Eurovision.
This comes after the Liberal government’s six years and three prime ministers worth of anti-gay rhetoric, including the exhausting marriage equality plebiscite, gender whisperer conspiracy theories, and the legitimisation of electric conversion therapy.
In what’s being labelled as a ‘disgusting play which will detract from the most spectacular showpiece of musical entertainment in the calendar year,’ the Nightwatchman is facing backlash for his election scheduling decision.
Handing down the election for Saturday the 18th of May it’s been confirmed that Scott Morrison has angered many residents leaving in queer enclaves like Betoota’s French Quarter, Darlinghurst, and St Kilda East.
“He could have chosen any fucking weekend, and he chose my 2nd favourite weekend of the year to host the political shit show that will be the federal election,” said one local Eurovision fan.
“It’s a huge deal for me and a lot of friends to get around Eurovision, and he’s gone ahead and tried to hijack it, which is weird because it’s in Israel, and he loves Israel so I don’t know why he is trying to step on toes.”
“It’s not like Kate Miller-Heidke is gonna win anyway, she’s nowhere near poppy enough, it’s about the spectacle that is the weekend.”
“I think next year we should hold Mardi Gras during Round 25 for Cronulla’s last game of the season and teach that little preacher a lesson,” explained the angry fan.