CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local stock and station agent who has done a bit of living in his time has today managed to convince upwards of 20 punters into thinking he’s a great bloke.
He’s done this through telling a hilarious yarn about back in the day when he was a jackaroo and got thrown from a horse.
Kel Austin (29) was initially just catching up with a few mates, who insisted he tell the yarn again, gradually encouraging other patrons who were sitting near the front bar to listen in.
The story, which begins with Kel as a wide-eyed and innocent 18-year-old fresh from the suburbs of outer-Toowoomba, grows more and more hilarious by the minute – as he details the harsh but comical hazing rituals he was exposed to when he first arrived at a nearby station.
By the end of the story, Kel has the entire pub laughing, and he is playing up the theatrics with his emotive body language.
At time of press, there was nearly 25 blokes in stitches who promised Kel that if he ever ran for politics, they would vote for him because a hapless goofball like him is far more trustworthy than any of the tax-payer sponges currently elected.
These assurances from the regulars at Betoota’s Lord Kidman Hotel puts Kel in a good position to win an upper house seat in the upcoming Federal Election.
This comes after it was revealed that controversial independent Senator Fraser Anning who got just 19 votes in a Federal election still managed to land an upper house seat, along with a prime time news platform and a $200,000 salary.
It is not yet known what kind of community member would be unable to get more than 19 votes all up, when including both his extended family and anyone he has ever met, but the punters at the Lord Kidman feel that Kel would probably be able to do a better job than him and manage to do it without charging to tax-payer 3000 dollars for business class flights to attend neo-nazi rallies in Melbourne.
At time of press, Kel was seen telling another yarn about a recent bucks party on the Goldie, which appeared to be solidifying his bold election campaign strategy.