EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Like the flap of a butterfly’s wings, a small, inconsequential decision has led to a man permanently losing the function of his taste buds.
Local sparky Darren Hayes tells our reporter that the harrowing chain of events started the night before when he’d forgotten to charge his phone – causing him to sleep through what should have been an early morning alarm to wake up.
In a haste to make it to work in time, Darren says he had no time to make his usual ham and cheese sandwich for lunch or grab his water bottle.
When the heavy-duty traffic delayed his commute by a further 15 minutes, Darren resigned to the fact he’d likely be selecting his breakfast from the company’s prehistoric vending machine.
Unfortunately for Darren, a cruel twist of fate assured that the machine only stocked a single line of off salt and vinegar chips and a severely battered tub of Goulburn Valley peach slices that in hindsight, would have been a far less risky choice.
As he attempted to stomach what he called ‘shards of salty glass’, Darren says he could feel his tongue ‘eroding away with every bite.’
“I reckon you’ve got to be a full-on masochist to enjoy salt and vinegar chips”, says Darren, “it’s like being punched in the mouth.”
“I don’t think wincing when you eat should be considered normal.” “Discovered the hard way that I should really start investing in some chapstick.”
Darren reckons he’d been initially confronted by the burst of flavour but grew to accept the taste as he devoured more.
However, when he got to the end of the packet he found he had nothing to wash away the vinegary fury destroying the insides of his mouth, leaving his taste buds permanently seared as a result.
Ironically, salt and vinegar chips are now the only flavour of food he can enjoy, which Darren thinks is more than ‘a little bit suspicious.’
More to come.