ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Malcolm Turnbull told The Advocate today that wife Lucy had ‘damn near twisted his arm off’ about getting the boathouse redone and thanks to Scott Morrison’s new HomeBuilder scheme, it seems he’s run out of excuses.

“Thanks a lot, ScoMo,” laughed Turnbull.

The former Prime Minister joined as for an amicable chat that went just a little bit too long.

“If you’ve ever had to do any construction near saltwater, you’d know how expensive it can be. So I’ve been avoiding it for a few years and yes, the boathouse has fallen into what some could call a state of disrepair,”

“But now, we get $25 000 for nothing, really. What do I need $25 000 for? I supposed I could put in a new boat crane. I don’t really need one but if they’re giving to me for free then I don’t see why not,”

“I guess I can finally justify the expense now that I’m getting something for free.”

When asked if he agreed with the scheme, Mr Turnbull bit his tongue and sighed a little bit.

“I’m trying this new thing where I don’t care about things,” he said.

“So I don’t really care about the HomeBuilder scheme.”

Our reporter asked him what he really thought and Mr Turnbull just couldn’t help himself.

“I think it’s the most idiotic and reckless use of public money since the NBN, ah, I mean Safe Schools. Just look at it, the only people who stand to benefit from it are the rich?”

“Sorry, sorry. No, I don’t care. I’m just a humble kayaking merchant banker these days. Stop winding me up.”

More to come.

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