FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
With less than half an hour to go until his wife and kids arrived back from the weekend at her parents’ house, local man Clinton Bodoni knew it was time to get the house in order.
Unfortunately, with the house having been subjected to 3 days of self-confessed slob Clinton without the counterbalanced force of wife Sarah’s nagging, this was not going to be easy, as evidenced by the 3 days’ worth of clothes carefully stored on the floordrobe, a kitchen containing a precariously piled pillar of plates, and a partially-dismantled air compressor in the loungeroom.
Normally cleaning up a disaster of this magnitude in this timeframe would be impossible. Luckily, Clinton had a secret weapon; an upbeat movie montage.
“Took me a while to get the montage sorted out” admitted Clinton “but once I got the footage spliced together and synced it with some fast-paced prog rock it was good to go”.
Sure enough, after combining such powerful elements as time-lapse footage of a vacuum cleaner being used, an action shot of a can being thrown into a garbage bin from a great distance, and a quick Benny Hill-style sequence of goats being chased out of the front door with a broom, the entire home was sparkling clean in just 25 seconds.
In fact, the transformation was so complete that the only person who wasn’t amazed at the effectiveness and speed of the process was Clinton himself. “I don’t see what the big deal is” he admitted, whilst straightening up a crooked fridge magnet in preparation for his family’s return. “25 seconds is heaps of time. What about them old Spray & Wipe ads? They get their trashed house fixed with an upbeat montage in a 30 second TV commercial. And at least 5 seconds of that is that lady freaking out over how wrecked the house is. Nah, 25 seconds sounds about right”.