ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The greatest game on Earth has put its nose in front of the proverbial tractor fire that is The National Party today in the race to have the most counterproductive and controversial offseason.

While our public servants in Canberra have a much longer break that our rugby league playing heroes, the Nationals held a commanding lead heading into the new year as many of its most senior members got up to no good.

Speaking to the media this morning from the deck of his Echuca riverboat, Nationals leader Michael McCormack flipped through yesterday’s edition of The Australian as he fielded questions from journalists.

“Yes,” he said, wiping some errant scrambled eggs off his holiday beard.

“We plan to get back at the NRL in the coming weeks. We’ve already had a few stellar efforts. A real man of the match performance by Andrew ‘The Side Doggy Country Boy’ Broad and I don’t have to bring up the whole Barnaby soap opera,”

“But this Napa episode has got us heading back to the drawing board. Maybe we could get [Nigel] Scullion to recreate the second Napa video with Warren ‘Kingaroy Kingfish’ Truss shadow boxing? That’s an idea. Warren has a great sense of humour.”

Our reporter reached out to the National Rugby League for comment but only received a short statement acknowledging something had gone awry during the offseason and the Integrity Unit is now run off its feet.

More to come.

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