ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“I think it’s a bit dramatic, what they’re all saying,” he said.
“You know, not everyone who owns property or has a mortgage is a Baby Boomer. There’s plenty of young people out there with property. Are they saying they should be executed, too?”
French Quarter real estate agent Darcy ‘Frogstomp’ Smith said he’s confused as to why some people in the community want him stoved against a wall and shot through the sternum with an armour-piercing 7.62mm round.
Rolling his eyes, Darcy said people in his profession are just the ‘messengers’ in the real estate industry – and wise men do not shoot them.
“Renters need to understand that it’s the property owners and landlords who are the real enemy. At least, that’s the narrative I like to push.”
A number of fringe political organisations, district militias and locals with nothing left to lose have a different opinion of who the enemy is in this conflict against wealth inequality.
Earlier this week, Darcy took to social media to publish an opinion piece he’d written on the state of the renters market amid the corona crisis.
In the 286-word argument, Darcy said that because renters have access to their superannuation now for tax-free amounts up to $10k, tenants should exhaust their super before they come begging to him.
That’s angered the defacto leader of the Free Diamantina Army, a registered domestic terrorist organisation with goals of kidnapping and executing billionaires for the sport of it – and housing affordability.
“Real estate agents are the biggest immediate issue with the housing crisis,” said the leader, who chose to remain anonymous.
“Which is why they’ll be among the first against the wall to be shot when society collapses and organisations like the one I lead will have to assume the burden of governance,”
“Real estate agents are the great facilitators of the upper-classes. They do their dirty work, which is largely to suppress the workers. So when parliaments around the country implode and our leaders flee to New Zealand, doors will be kicked in during the first cold night of the new world, agents dragged nude from their beds, screaming. They’ll beg, they’ll cry. But their time would’ve already come,”
“Paying rent with your super? That’s the penguin that tipped the iceberg, space cowboys.”
More to come.