ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prince Andrew’s inability to perspire has been miraculously cured by the arrest of his good friend Jeffery Epstein’s girlfriend, Ghislaine Maxwell.

The Prince claimed to be unable to sweat due to him being shot at during the Falklands War, where he flew Exocet decoy missions.

However, it seems the debilitating condition has been cured.

The Advocate reached out to Buckingham Palace for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

Nevertheless, many royal and media commentators have suggested that the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell gives Prince Andrew, as well as other people, have given him good cause to sweat.

“Just imagine if the Clintons, or the Queen, can’t get to her before she gets the chance to turn state witness,” said one member of the Royal press.

“The chaos and damage it would do to the lives of countless rich and powerful people. And imagine if all of their victims actually got justice? It’d be unprecedented. But I can’t see The Queen letting her favourite son spend the rest of his natural life in ADX Florence,”

“One thing that’s for certain now, the Prince is sweating.”

More to come.

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