ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A breeding pair of Betoota Heights sexagenarians have both lashed out and rolled eyes at the suggestion it’s harder to buy a house today than it was in 1980.

“I can’t believe we’re still talking about this,” said Glenda Pearson.

“The generation now has avocados and mobile phones, we had savings and babies. My kids all have houses now because we instilled a great work ethic in them.”

Kevin Pearson pursed his lips and looked at the floor.

“We also helped them with a no-interest deposit – and they work for me,” he said.

Glenda rolled her eyes again and tugged sharply on the front of her blouse.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re in a position to help your kids into property then you should do it. I don’t think we should apologise.”

Government around the world are also refusing to apologise to the planet’s future workers for lumping this life-defining debt on their shoulders to simply extend the life of their parents and grandparents.

So far, $320bn has been spent in Australia on the coronavirus response. If there are 5 million Boomers in this country, the young people of Australia have spent nearly $64 000 on each life.

Does this value for money? Is it a good investment? Could we have let the virus take its toll on the nation and spent the money elsewhere?

The answer is yes, according to a prominent right-wing think tank here in the Diamantina.

The Please Be Proud Of Me Daddy Foundation released a paper earlier today that ‘played Devil’s Advocate’ on a number of policy and economic issues surrounding the pangolin’s kiss.

“The generation that told Millennials to stop buying avocados if they want a house has just had a third of a trillion dollars spent on it to protect it from a simple flu,”

“So I guess the real question is: Will you still want me, will you still need me when I’ve cost you $64 000?”

More to come.


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