LOUIS BURKE | Local News | Contact
Proving every caravan has a PVC lining, Betoota’s newest bachelor Kenny Riggs (38) has taken his newly broken heart to an old school barbershop to do something he’s been meaning to regret.
Popping into French Quarter barbershop, Hairy Fannigans, Riggs was immediately recognised as one of the hopefuls who previously rejected the call to have the mullet of his dreams due to being in a relationship.
“Knew you’d be back. Hope everything’s alright, take a seat mate,” said the barber, guiding Riggs towards a bench occupied by other hairy men who just got dumped by the love of their life.
“Everything will be fine mate.”
Sitting on the ‘post-break-up mullet bench’ Riggs checked his phone, only to be shown the face of the woman who had just left him alone in the world in the form of his phone lock screen.
It was at this point that Riggs was assured he would get the mullet his former girlfriend had vetoed in an effort to recreate a simple era when technology wouldn’t bombard you with reminders of your failed relationship.
As Riggs took a seat in the barbers chair, witnesses state he took a final look at his old self, at the face and hair of a man that could have lived a fulfilling, monogamous life with a person who loved him for who he is and the man he would become (as long as he never got that mullet he was always talking about).
“Yep, do it before I change my mind.”