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After two of our capital cities were locked down due to quarantine outbreaks of the MUTANT UK STRAIN – without any new cases recorded in the community – Australians are starting to ask whether or not the British Prime Minister has been telling porkies.

Both Perth and Brisbane have endured snap 5-day lockdowns after learning of one positive case of this new European variant in each city.

However, in both circumstances it seems the virus did not spread throughout the community – despite the carriers visiting a number of public spaces and frequently using public transport.

In Perth, it is believed the carrier was even working a second job driving Uber while masked.

With all close contacts of the positive cases isolated and rigorously tested, it seems that the UK strain might not be any more contagious than the other strain – which, while still serious enough to fuck over all of Melbourne last year – doesn’t seem quite as infectious as Boris Johnson has suggested.

After catching the virus himself at the start of the outbreak, and hopelessly locking down his country on three seperate occassions since then, Boris has leant heavily on the narrative that the MUTANT UK STRAIN is stronger and more powerful than the original variant that first spread early last year.

Australians, who are now well and truly conditioned to the successful public health measures that our nation;s experts have put in place to eliminate community transmission – are growing suspicious that maybe Boris has geed up this UK strain in an effort to absolve himself of any blame over what has happened to his country in these last 12 months.

Many other elements have contributed to the horrific situation in the United Kingdom, where more than 112,000 people have died from this virus and nearly 4 million have become infected.

Namely, the fact that the London Tube was fully operational not even three months ago – when the second wave was well and truly underway.

Or perhaps the fact that Boris has constantly downplayed the severity of this virus, insisting that the only reason he was put on a ventilator was because he was overweight.

Or maybe it was because his entire country had open passage to all of Europe until a couple weeks ago, when he decided to bring in the same mandatory hotel quarantine measures that have been in place in Australia since March.

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