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Greater London and parts of Essex and Hertfordshire will be placed under Tier 3 restrictions from Wednesday, as Prime Minister Boris Johnson admits that a half-hearted approach to containing this virus that almost killed him might not have been the best strategy.

The capital of England will move into the strictest tier of the UK’s regional lockdown system on Wednesday, after virus rates in London soared to among the highest in the nation.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson says that even he, a survivor of this thing, was surprised that this virus hadn’t disappeared by now.

“I was just assuming everyone had caught it by now and was back to normal”

“Turns out herd immunity isn’t real and that only rich people survive this thing after being put on a ventilator”

Right across Great Britain, pubs and restaurants will be forced to close unless they offer takeaway or delivery – with nothing allowed to stay open except for supermarkets and schools.

Data published last week showed case rates per 100,000 people in London stood at 191.8, putting the city ahead of regions that have stricter rules in place, such as the West Midlands, who keep getting blamed for all this.

So far, the borders remain open to Europe and nobody has to quarantine at all upon arrival to the country.

It was also announced a new strain of the virus had been identified in England, which is just great for a country who have been in and out of not very strict lockdowns since April.

Christmas will be awful in London this year.

SO MUCH MORE TO COME.

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