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The Betoota Advocate

Report: If The Government Phases Out Diesel Vehicles, How Will This B&S Warrior Get The Moot?

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    WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

    Betoota Plains man Brett Wilson has today raised an important question.

    If diesel and petrol vehicles are phased out over the next couple of decades, how will blokes like him get the moot?

    The question comes after General Motors revealed that they will be ceasing the manufacture of diesel and petrol vehicles by 2035 which follows the general trend other brands in the industry seem to be following.

    And while it might be good news for our rapidly warming planet, as Wilson today pointed out, with a distinct lack of diesel soot, ‘there could be serious issues for blokes trying to get some moot.’

    The B&S attendee told the Advocate that he’s got serious concerns about the future of rooting in regional Australia.

    “Mate, what the fuck?” said the fired up White Egg drinker.

    “Fair enough, save the planet, but leave a few cars with some grunt for blokes like us to pick up aye.”

    “You think doing a doey in a piece of shit electric ute’s gonna get the local ladies fired up?”

    “Exactly,” sighed the man who enjoys getting so drunk he can barely walk back to wherever he planned on passing out, occasionally with a female B&S warrior.

    “Why have they gotta take that from us.”

    “I got told to peel off my Diesel Grunt Gets The **** sticker the other day, and now this.”

    “Soon animal rights activists will be telling us we can’t make pig squealing noises or grunt anymore either.”

    “What’s gonna be left,” he sighed taking a sip from his 2L bottles of iced coffee.

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      Wendell Hussey

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