WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a relatable moment this afternoon, our relatable Prime Minister has thrown a bit of rubbish in the bin with a bit of a flourish.
Mimicking thousands of blokes who work or used to work in roles where paper or rubbish needs to be thrown in the bin, Scotty from Marketing let out a loud ‘Koooobe’ today when he disposed of the latest reports from the Royal Commission into the devastating last bushfire season.
This follows the continued hearings of the Royal Commission that have unfortunately fallen in the midst of a once in a century global pandemic.
Today it was heard that the bushfires were an ecological disaster with an estimated billion animals killed, following revelations yesterday that the smoke killed nearly 450 people and affected 80% of the population.
However, while that death toll is four times more people than have died from Coronavirus in Australia and the economic cost set to be over a 100 billion, the Royal Commission into the nation’s preparedness and response to the bushfires looks set only to occupy a few middle pages of the nation’s news organisations.
“Haha, have you missed this whole global pandemic champ?” asked a confident Morrison today.
“The bushfires are yesterday’s news,” explained the nation’s leader who went on a holiday while the country burnt, ignored experts, and was roundly criticised for his handling of the crisis.
“As the say in sport, which I’ve recently come to love, ‘you are only as good as your last game,'”
“And right now, my last game is the handling of the pandemic, which even the lefties have to admit was pretty, fucking, good.”
“So, I’m not wasting time on all the bushfire stuff, that was a BAD time.”
Morrison explained that he’ll have a look at all the findings when there eventually handed down, but for now he’ll be draining any reports his staff in front of him from downtown.