The Attorney General and former Minister for Social Services Chrisitan Porter, has today asked the media and the nation to simply take him on his word.

The man who rolled out the disastrous Robodebt scheme (that claimed nearly a billion dollars of debt it wasn’t owed and hounded hundreds of thousands of people relentlessly to prove they were innocent) has slammed the media today for pursuing ‘frenzied allegations’ against him.

Speaking at a press conference a short time ago, the First Law Officer of the Commonwealth and former Crown Prosecutor, who had claims of improper behaviour levelled against him late last year, has told the nation that asking questions about the current, and horrific allegations levelled against him is a witch hunt.

“You are innocent until proven guilty in this country,” said the man who built a giant system contradictory to that to pursue people, plenty of whom weren’t in the position to defend themselves like he is.

“Why can’t you all just believe me and leave it at that,” said the man who claims to have not seen or been asked about the details of the allegations.

Porter, who occupies one of the senior legal positions in the country, then continued for some time, seemingly confused that people might be concerned that someone with his power and responsibility might have questions to answer.

“I don’t understand why everyone is so worked up about serious allegations about someone who is in a senior government position.”

He then told media that he would love to be able to answer questions in a special enquiry of commission like Dyson Heydon, but he can’t, so you just have to believe him and move on.

“I hope that’s the end of it, okay,” said the man doing his best to work up crocodile tears, like ‘he’s the victim in all of this.’


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