JetStar flight JQ201 from Sydney to Auckland has just disembarked in the Land Of The Long White Cloud this morning, as both the Australian and New Zealand governments open up the Trans-Tasman travel bubble.

It was the first of a scheduled 30 flights to New Zealand today, as both countries enter a new era of COVID-elimination.However, with almost a month since any examples of community transmission in either country, the most telling sign that this virus is almost completely under control is that men are no longer washing their hands after going to the loo.

Australian Federal Health Minister, Greg Hunt has today fronted the media to congratulate the citizens of both countries for doing their part to get us to this point.

“The travel bubble is one thing” said Hunt this morning.

“But the fact that we are now at a point where blokes can just waltz out of a bathroom without even thinking of washing their hands is the most positive sign that we are almost back to normal”

Hunt says social distancing measures, such as face masks on public transport and venue capacities – will soon be a thing of the past – and the government’s commitment to vaccinated 4% of our population in 6 months has only sped things up.

“The continued vaccine roll-out, which is expected to be fully complete by 2028, will only further improve our rates of blokes of leaving a bathroom after taking a piss or a shit without once thinking about their personal hygiene”

“Let alone washing their hands for twenty seconds”

“Which, to be honest, I don’t think any of you grubs took seriously, even in the height of the pandemic”


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