Staring intermittently at the clock on her computer, local woman Sam Thompson mindlessly taps away at her computer keyboard as she attempts to bullshit her way over the required word count.

The essay in question – a 1,500-word research piece on the most popular artists of the Northern Renaissance era – was yet another mindless, filler assignment from her art history module. Which seems like a waste of time, given Sam chose art primarily because she didn’t know what else to study, and business seemed too boring.

At the tender age of 17, Sam hadn’t given much thought to her future or the substantial HECS debt that’d no doubt bite her in the ass when she finally got employed as a bartender or barista.

For now, investigating the true meaning behind Jan van Eyck’s much-debated painting ‘Arnolfini’ portrait was a small price to pay for the ability to draw anime titties in great detail. If she ever got to pick up a pencil, it seemed.

Luckily, the barely passing grade she was sure to get from this convoluted mess of an essay was sure to be raised by the prac project she was to commence soon, which could easily net her a 7 as long as she came up with a pretentious back story.

Polishing off her last paragraph with an ‘In conclusion’, Sam barely scrapes past with 1,502 words to be exact, before gleefully closing her 27 open tabs one by one.

More to come.


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