ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of our town’s most exclusive school for boys has been forced to shut the gates today after a student tested negative to the affluenza virus.

It’s understood by The Advocate that the Whooton School student’s father lost his job at a large investment firm in the Old City district at the start of the year and has been unable to secure employment moving forward.

Whooton’s Principal, Professor Allan Ross, said that this is not an uncommon occurrence but apologised to parents today for the timing of the incident.

“We take negative affluenza tests very seriously here at Whooton so we’ve made the difficult decision to close the school,”

“These decisions are not made lightly. The school council has said the boy’s father was not in a position to pay this term’s tuition fees, which meant the boy no longer was able to stay at Whooton and enjoy the myriad of benefits that come with affluenza,”

“Should the boy’s father get his act together, the student will be allowed to return without paying the entrance and application fee.”

In addition to his father losing his high income, The Advocate has learned that the boy’s older sister pashed an overweight red-headed Catholic over the weekend, which may have contributed to the negative test result.

More to come.


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