TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
In a ground-breaking new study, researchers at Australia’s peak scientific body have today revealed that men actually lack the specific gene that enables them to instinctively change a toilet roll when it runs out.
The gene they lack, INCGs, is reportedly solely responsible for signalling the brain when an empty toilet roll needs changing.
Lead researcher, Dr. C. Martin, explains to our reporter what this breakthrough means for men and how she thinks the new knowledge could help address the issue.
“It’s all very exciting, for years women have accused men of just being lazy, but this discovery proves that they are genetically incapable of changing one”
“While it does provide men with an excuse, it will only be temporary”
“We’re already looking into harvesting the genome and distributing it into a contraception style pill that men take daily, giving them a synthetic version of the gene and enabling them to instinctively change the roll”
“That’s still in its research phase but I’m confident we’ll have something out by 2020”.
Following our interview with Dr. Martin, our reporter hit the streets to hear what men thought of the breakthrough and of Dr. Martin’s synthetic gene replacement.
“I reckon the pill is a stitch up, there’s no bloody way I’m going to take that thing – only pussies would” said Brayden.
“I knew there had to be a reason for it, I flat out have never even seen an empty toilet roll, now I know it’s because of my DNA. Cheryl’s gonna lose it when I come back at her with this shit [haha]” added Laurence.
More to come.