LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Proving once again to be a true representative of the people, Senator Pauline Hanson has accidentally locked herself in her car in a sun-exposed spot at Indooroopilly Shopping Centre but has denied she is in any danger, regardless of how hot it looks inside the car.

After completing her shopping at Hairhouse Warehouse, Senator Hanson returned to her Holden HSV Sport, unloaded the bags in the boot and somehow locked herself in her car with the keys presumably in the boot too.

This week on the podcast, Editors Clancy and Errol spoke to Gary Sweet. Listen here: 

“I would have put them on the backseat but like so many places in this country, it’s full,” stated Senator Hanson as sweat dribbled down her face.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

Known for speaking her developing mind, Senator Hanson has instructed spectators to not take action on the matter as the heat rising from the car begins to warp long distance vision.

“Go about your day, nothing to see here.”

Despite car heat experts stating the car will soon be at unbearable temperatures, Senator Hanson has challenged them to get into the car with her, an offer they declined as the car is locked which is one of the major problems of the current situation.

Senator Hanson has been seen spraying perfume inside her car as her foundation leaks off her face and on to a top she’d just bought from Sportsgirl, all while denying she needs any help.

“If I had Malcolm Roberts with me right now we’d be having a ball! I’ve got Rebel FM on!”

Recent reports state Senator Hanson’s usually red hair has turned bleach white in the heat although according to her, people need to stop running around like a headless chook and settle in a pool of their own sweat like she has.

“Actually can someone get me a drink though? Not ChaTime and not halal.”

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