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The Betoota Advocate

YouTube Begins Offering Medical Degrees To Domestic Vaccine Researchers

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    FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

    The Home-Based Vaccine Research Industry has been given a shot in the arm this week, with news that YouTube will begin offering Medical Degrees to researchers whose research mainly consists of reposting and commenting on videos posted on YouTube and FaceBook. 

    “Well it’s about time” reckons Vegan activist and vaccine do-your-own-researcher Peta Voyden.

    “It’s so annoying having these arguments about the dangers of vaccines when someone says ‘oh yeah, well I have a Medical Degree with a major in Communicable Respiratory Infections from the University of Sandstone, what’s your qualification?’. Finally I’ll be able to say ‘yeah, I am qualified actually. I have a Medical Science degree from the YouTube University of Sparebedroom, majoring in Reposting Memes and I wrote a 6000 word thesis on ‘Shutting Down Internet Debates By Just Telling People To Do their Own Research’. Stick that in your electron microscope and enlarge it”.  

    However, Dr Mark Stinson, Ph.D, Head Surgeon at the Betoota General Hospital, says offering “experience-based” qualifications to those without a medical background could risk cheapening legitimate medical qualifications.

    “Every time someone shouts their opinion on social media, the fact it is in the public domain automatically lends it a form of credibility,” he explained, when cornered in the Betoota General Hospital Staff Car Park.

    “Whenever a medical professional is forced to debunk some fanciful theory, that too can add weight to that theory because someone respectable is debating it, even if they dispute that theory. In addition, when someone uses the term ‘do your own research’, this adds further credibility because not many people can be bothered to do actual research, so most are prepared to take that statement at face value; that if they were to do actual research this could prove the original, incorrect theory.”

    “The most important tool we [medical professionals] have in our arsenal to challenge incorrect statements on the internet is our qualifications; putting people without any clue what they’re talking about on an apparently level playing field is doing a great disservice to humanity.” 

    When asked if a few Domestic Vaccine Researcher degrees could be handed out anyway, just to see what happens, Dr Stinson apologised but explained he had to leave for an important appointment, which he described as “literally anything but this”. 

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      Wendell Hussey

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