LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Australian traveller Bonnie Henderson (28) has asserted authority over our colonial overlords today by reminding the English their coffee really does suck.
Ordering a cafe latte in one of London’s 99,000 Costa Coffee franchises Henderson was surprised to see the coffee arrived in a glass a meter tall, with a thin brown line of coffee sitting in the bottom of stiff white foam.
“Haha, this is so not a latte,” stated Henderson loudly even for Australians-in-the-UK standards.
“You need to come to Australia to try a real latte.”
Henderson has since made it her mission to spend her half-week in Europe’s largest city to hunt down a decent cup of coffee, reminding the tea-drinking nation what they’re missing out on every step of the way.
“It’s so bad, no wonder you have so many weird types of biscuits.”
Official guidelines from SmartTraveller.gov recommend Australians try not to mention the rest of the world’s shortcomings when it comes to coffee and instead try asserting authority by mentioning how our winter is warmer than their summer.
“And even when it’s hot we’re still drinking our perfect hot cups of coffee! Seriously guys, this tastes like shit.”